Romance Scams: How They Happen and How to Protect Yourself

Romance scams happen when someone builds an emotional connection online with the goal of stealing money or personal information. These relationships often begin on dating apps, social media, gaming platforms, or messaging services, and they can affect people of all ages.

Scammers tend to move slowly. They may spend weeks or even months building trust before asking for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or access to accounts. As more of our relationships and conversations happen online, awareness remains one of the strongest tools we have.

Common Warning Signs of Romance Scams

No matter your age or stage of life, romance scams often follow similar patterns. A few things to watch for:

• Pressure to keep the relationship private or secret
• Refusal to meet in person or participate in video calls
• Stories that don’t quite add up, or that change over time
• Requests for money, gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency
• Urgent emergencies that require immediate financial help

Noticing any of these signs doesn’t mean something is definitely wrong. It’s simply a cue to slow down and take a closer look.

How Scammers Target Different Age Groups

High School & College Students

For teens and young adults, romance scams often show up on social media, gaming platforms, or messaging apps rather than traditional dating sites. A scammer may pose as someone your age, offer lots of compliments, or push quickly for a close emotional connection.

They may ask for:

• Gift cards or payments through apps “to help with a problem”
• Personal photos or information that can later be used for blackmail
• Help accessing accounts or “holding onto” money

What to Remember

If someone you’ve never met asks for money or personal details, that’s an important signal. It’s okay to step back. It’s okay to ask questions. And it’s smart to talk with a trusted adult, friend, or campus resource if something doesn’t seem right.

Adults

Adults are often targeted when they’re dating online, recently divorced, widowed, or feeling isolated. Scammers may present themselves as professionals, military members, or people working overseas to explain why meeting in person isn’t possible.

Common tactics include:

• Long, emotional conversations that build trust quickly
• Stories involving business trouble, medical emergencies, or travel delays
• Requests for “temporary” financial help, often paired with promises to repay

What to Remember

Healthy relationships don’t rely on secrecy or financial pressure. Taking time to verify someone’s identity isn’t suspicious—it’s reasonable. Emotional connection is important, but it shouldn’t override caution.

Seniors

Seniors may be targeted through dating sites, social media, email, or text messages. These scams often move slowly and can feel deeply personal. Scammers may lean into companionship, shared routines, or stories of loss.

They may:

• Establish daily messaging or calling habits
• Claim to be widowed or retired
• Ask for money related to emergencies, investments, or medical needs

What to Remember

Questioning a request for money is never rude. A second perspective can make a real difference. Talking with a trusted friend or family member can help surface warning signs that are easier to miss when emotions are involved.

How to Protect Yourself at Any Age

Romance scams rely on emotion, urgency, and trust. That’s why they can affect anyone, regardless of age, experience, or education. Protecting yourself doesn’t mean avoiding online connections altogether. It means being cautious, staying curious, and paying attention when something feels off.

A few habits can make a real difference:

• Be thoughtful about what personal or financial information you share online
• Take time to verify identities and requests, especially when money is involved
• Talk with a trusted friend or family member if something doesn’t feel right
• Never send money, gift cards, or financial information to someone you haven’t met

What To Do If You Are a Victim

Realizing you may have been involved in a romance scam can be upsetting. It can bring up embarrassment, anger, or confusion. That reaction is human. These scams are designed to feel real, and they work by earning trust over time.

If you suspect something isn’t right, or if money or personal information has already been shared, here are a few steps that can help:

• Stop sending money or information.
  Even if the person has an explanation or promise, it’s okay to pause communication.
• Save records of the interaction.
  Keep messages, usernames, email addresses, and payment details. These can be helpful if you decide to report the scam.
• Talk to someone you trust.
  Sharing what happened with a friend, family member, or advisor can help you think clearly about next steps. You don’t have to sort this out alone.
• Contact your bank or financial institution right away.
  They may be able to limit losses or protect your accounts from further loss. Our Customer Resource Center is available to help Monday through Friday from 7am - 7pm and Saturday 7am - 3pm CST, call us at (855) 452-7272.
• Report the scam.
  Reporting helps protect others and may support ongoing investigations, even if funds can’t be recovered.

Final Thought

Romance scams work because they target trust, not intelligence. Anyone can be affected. Staying informed, slowing the pace, and keeping open conversations with people you trust can make a real difference.

If something doesn’t feel right, trust that instinct—it’s often your strongest protection.